Proverbial Living

A very interesting article on the topic of what to do if your parents need financial help. Like most things financial, the answer is individual to each families’ circumstances. In the case of parents, the answer involves practical, cultural and indeed moral considerations, and advance planning will help in every case.

Practical planning applies to both parents and children. If adult children foresee the need to care for their parents, advance planning, well before the need arrives, will help them preserve their own retirement needs. Parents can help too. Many parents (now grandparents) as they reach their golden years want to shower their kids, or more likely their grandkids, with gifts and experiences. That is wonderful, if they can afford it. But if grandparents deplete their savings buying gifts and other things for their family, they may end up needing help from their grown children in their later years.

If cultural considerations are the main driver, this too is wonderful, but advance planning is still worthwhile. Perhaps your parents have enough savings to live on their own but culturally, a multigenerational household is in your future. You may find you need a bigger house to accommodate everyone, or an addition to your existing house, or specialized improvements to make your house safer and more comfortable for aging parents. If your parents can help contribute to these needs, then the transition to living together can be smoother (at least financially) while not impacting your own future savings plans.

Moral and cultural considerations are closely aligned. The article references a Pakistani family where family members argue over who will get the honor of caring for their aging family members. Scripture also teaches us very explicitly the duty to care for our parents. St. Paul’s letter to Timothy (1 Timothy 5:3) says “Take care of any widow who has no one else to care for her. But if she has children or grandchildren, their first responsibility is to show godliness at home and repay their parents by taking care of them. This pleases God.” I hope my kids read this, emphasis on repay!

Bottom line, being able to care for aging parents may be a blessing but it will be difficult.  Whatever your motivation, better planning, including advance planning will help remove some of the stresses and help preserve your own financial future.